The Alter Ego Effect — Todd Herman

 

Rating: ★★★★

Summary: The Alter Ego Effect (Canada/US) explores the relationship between flexible identities and improved performance. Tapping into the qualities of our favourite superheroes, animals, celebrities, and/or family members can help us unlock our full potential.

Our created alter ego should embody the values that we want to show up with most when it matters. For example: if you are agreeable and nice, but lack discipline and decisiveness, you could adopt the alter ego of Jocko Willink, the author of Discipline Equals Freedom who wakes up before 4:30 A.M. everyday.

You can activate your alter ego with a totem, which is an object—usually worn—that 

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helps you consciously trigger a psychological shift. A pair of glasses, a bracelet, a shirt, or a hat can signal that you are taking on your desired identity.

At the core of the book is the idea that you can, and should, be intentional about who you show up as in any situation. By doing so, you leverage the incredible power of the creative, playful imagination.

Key Concepts: 

• Target Mapping means having an end goal in mind, and establishing the necessary steps and strategy to achieve that goal. 

 

• Moments of Impact are the pivotal events, actions, and opportunities that determine success or failure. Taking the game-winning shot, delivering a speech to a large audience, or writing a test are all examples of moments of impact. Each person’s Moments of Impact are different. 

 

• We all show up on different Fields of Play: professional, personal, parental, etc. Being intentional about who shows up to each of those areas of our lives is key to enhancing our success and well-being.

 

• The Enemy is an internal force that stops you from showing up as your best self. Carl Jung called it the shadow, Joseph Campbell called it the dragons that needed to be slayed. Whatever we choose to call it, it can’t be gotten rid of entirely. It can only be tamed one day, or even one action, at a time. 

 

• Lack of confidence, avoiding risks, concern about the opinions of others and self-limiting beliefs are all manifestations of The Enemy.

 

• Imposter Syndrome is when you are afraid that you will be found out, that everyone will discover that you are a fraud. It is one of The Enemy’s core tactics

 

• Tribal Narratives are the stories we tell ourselves based on our family and their history. We limit ourselves based on what our parents, grandparents, or siblings have accomplished.

 

• Kindness, charity, fairness, and empathy are all wonderful qualities, and may be part of your core personality. However, they may prevent you from succeeding and excelling on many Fields of Play. Not acting kindly, charitably, or empathetically at key moments doesn’t mean you are suppressing your personality; It means you are crafting the right persona for a given situation. 

 

• Just like athletes review footage of their performances to spot weak points and improve their game, you can review your Moments of Impact and reflect on how you can better contain The Enemy.

 

• Positive self-talk that involves narrating your experiences can lead to increases in performance. 

 

• If an enemy is unknown, its dimensions and ability to instil fear are amplified. You can reduce your Enemy by naming it, identifying it, and clearly outlining it. This gives your Alter Ego a clear opponent to overcome and defeat.

 

•  We are wired for stories. We are constantly telling ourselves stories about our lives and devouring stories from social media, books, and TV. We are also hearing other people’s stories about what they/we can and can’t do, and we internalize them. Once you accept the incredible power that stories have over us, you can choose which stories to embrace and which to reject. For more information on this phenomenon, read Lisa Cron’s Wired for Story. 

 

• Labels like “introverted”, “shy” or “stupid” can become part of your story, but only if you let them.

 

• How often have you told yourself or others that you have a terrible memory, aren’t good at math, or can’t sing? These are not facts—they are self-limiting stories. 

 

• There are 4 main motivating forces in stories: altruism, destiny, trauma, and self-expression. Often, 2 or more of these forces get blended together.

 

• Contrary to many self-help narratives, negative emotions can be helpful tools to develop and maintain motivation, and propel us towards our Extraordinary World — a place where we are at the pinnacle of our abilities. 

 

• Core Drivers are universal features that inspire us to move forward and grow, like family, community, religion or an important cause.

 

• Psychological self-distancing means examining your life and choices from a third person perspective(e.g. “What is Matthew struggling with? Why does Maggie want to build a business ?”).

 

• Enclothed cognition is the effect a person's clothes have on their thoughts, feelings, and self-image. For example, a student taking an exam while wearing a doctors coat will likely perform better than if she was dressed normally. However, the boost in test scores is erased if she thinks of it as a painter's smock. The uniforms and clothes we wear affect our behaviour, depending on what they mean to us.

• A Ground Punch is a proclamation that you save for when things aren't going your way. When the Incredible Hulk is overcome, he thrusts his fist into the concrete, sending out crippling shockwaves that send his enemies flying. When you are facing The Enemy from within and it seems like he is winning, have a stern, scripted phrase at the ready. "I will not back down from my ambition. I will keep moving forward!" Herman suggests listing off previous successes to reframe the situation.
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