The Marshmallow Test: Mastering Self-Control — Walter Mischel

 

*note: some of the findings in this book have challenged by the ongoing replication crisis in psychology. However, the strategies for self-control remain highly valuable.

Book Summary: 

Self-control, or delayed gratification, is an indispensible skill that can be learned. Regardless of your temperament, childhood experiences, or genetic inheritance, you can practice techniques to cool down a tempting stimulus (like junk food) and realize its negative long-term consequences in the moment.

Mischel's marshmallow test arose from a series of experiments he led in the 1960s to measure delay ability and self-control in 4-6 year old children. How they respond to a simple proposition ("get one marshmallow now, or two later") seemed to reveal a lot. People's ability to delay gratification had an impact on their future professional success, stress tolerance and the quality of their relationships decades later.

Neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to change and form new connections through enacting new patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaviour, is a key part of the self-control process. In the book, Mischel outlines five powerful techniques that help to master self-control. They are:

1) Cool the "Now", Heat the "Later" 

When a new temptation arises, like a cigarette craving, use your rational brain to mentally push away the desired object in time and space. Then, ramp up the emotional qualities associated with its long term effects ("what would it feel like being diagnosed with lung cancer?")


2) If-Then Implementation Plans

Research shows that people are much more likely to follow through on a commitment if they write down when and where they will do an activity. This tool works great for resisting temptations as well. For example: "If I have a craving for a cigarette, then I will think about what lung cancer feels like".


3) Cognitive Reappraisal

The children who waited the longest for the delayed reward often used reappraisal to reduce their immediate desire. They formed imaginary picture frames around the marshmallows with their hands, and thought of them as distant clouds. Thinking of cigarettes as dried leaves with poison wrapped in paper can help to lessen the emotional brain's hold.


4) Self-Distancing

The biggest threats to self-control arise when we become too emotionally attached to a perspective. Examining highly charged situations and the reasons for them from the perspective of a fly on the wall helps us to diffuse them. A good question to ask: "how would someone else see my situation from the outside?" 


5) Self-Distraction

Children who waited for the second marshmallow distracted themselves by composing songs, looking around the room, and fidgeting in their chairs. When faced with difficult cravings, you can redirect your attention repeatedly until the emotional strain subsides.

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Notes and Quotes:

• "The ability to delay immediate gratification for the sake of future consequences is an acquirable cognitive skill."

• Self-control is really the product of changing the way we think.

• People with low self-control are able to thrive most of the time. It is only when highly attractive stimuli arise that they struggle.

• One of my favorite anecdotes from the book was that of Inez, a four year old girl who stuck out the Marshmallow Test for 20 minutes, and then took the two treats home to show her mom what she had accomplished!

• "By forming and practicing implementation plans, you can make your hot system reflexively trigger the desired response whenever the cue occurs."

• "[The cool system] allows us to reappraise and reconstrue the meaning of events, situations, people, and our lives."

• "If you see more continuity between yourself now and yourself in the future, you probably put more value on delayed rewards and less value on immediate rewards and are less impatient than people who view their future selves as strangers."

• "To plan for the future, it helps to pre-live it at least briefly, to imagine the alternative possible scenarios as if they were unfolding in the present. This allows us to anticipate the consequences of our choices, letting ourselves both feel hot and think cool."

• "[Your] beliefs and perceptions are constructions of "reality", not revelations of absolute truths that can be seen only one way."

• Situations are important. We can have high self-control in one context and low self-control in another. 

• How much willpower you have has to do with whether you think of willpower as a depleting resource, or a renewable resource. To avoid suffering from willpower fatigue, don't believe in willpower fatigue. 

• "A life lived with too much delay of gratification can be as sad as one without enough of it. The biggest challenge for all of us — not just for the child — may be to figure out when to wait for more marshmallows and when to ring the bell and enjoy them. But, unless we learn to develop the ability to wait, we don't have the choice."

You can buy your own copy of the book here, or check out some of my other book summaries.